Poligion & Minutiae

Did I get peer pressured?? My last post was all about getting peer pressured to vote to begin with. My choice was my own.
What possessed me to vote Green? I did say that I mostly dont care, right? I did say that I for the most part have no inclination to follow politics whatsoever. So the reason I decided to vote green is the same as the reason I generally dont vote at all; I have no idea what is going on, and cant be bothered to learn. I tend to think that if a person doesnt understand the argument to begin with, they ought to stay out of it, especially if it doesnt concern them. So far the only issues I have seen raised that I feel any personal vested interest in are the environmental ones, and again not in any real detail, I just like to breathe and stuff. All I knew was that I felt a vague horror at the idea of of the Conservatives being in charge and thought Id like to put in my 2 cents worth of protest, for all the good it would actually do. I dont really know if the Green partys ideas are particularly viable, but I like them. I like the idea of someone giving a damn about the environment. I like the idea of these concerns being given more representation. They may not be terribly realistic, but from what I have been able to gather (which admittedly isnt much) I think they can mature as they grow. I do not see them as simply a fringe group that will fall by the wayside. I think they have a future and that as they are taken more seriously they will be more worth taking seriously. This is mostly an intuitive insight, and something I cannot back up with any factual claims, its just how I feel. I dont know anything at all about this crap, which as I said is why I mainly stay out of it. My vote is probably no more wasted on the Green party than it would be on simply ignoring the whole process. They can have my thumbs up and my buck seventy five.
I say boringissimo because I personally have not much interest in the workings of government. I am glad that you all are having such an enjoyable time of it, I am pleased to provide you all with an open forum to share your views, but now I think I will get back to the really important subjects of poetry, philosophy and metaphysics.
Oh, and the mundane details of my own life, of course.
So there I was, lazing in the sunlit porch, reading and sipping a rich, delicious mochaccino made with some of the best espresso available in the city. I stretched luxuriously and thought to myself "I can not believe I am getting paid for this."
I thought working at Ribtor was slack and lazy. Ribtor was a bustling hive of manic activity compared to where I work now. Sorry, did I say work??? Forgive me. To be accurate I should say "where I am currently employed". There is none of that pesky work stuff here to distract me from reading and sipping coffee. I was busier when I was unemployed.
I am the sole employee of the retail branch of Joffee's Coffees, a local roaster who supplies to various restaurants and golf courses in the city. The owner came up with the brilliant idea of opening a Marda Loop coffee shop which does not actually sell coffee in liquid form, just beans. I brew coffee and espresso to give away as samples, but there are no tables and no milk for lattes and such (though there is a hot chocolate machine, hence my mocha)
If anyone of my Calgarian pals is ever bored between tues to sat, 10-6, come to 2026 34 ave SW for free coffee or tea and hanging out with me. Approximately 1 hour of my 8 hour work day is actually spent helping customers. On saturdays maybe 2. The rest of the time I am utterly alone. No coworkers, no customers, the phone doesnt ring, nothing happens. I spend my day in a kind of meditative stillness that just about drives me bugshit.
This all begs the question "Why havent I been writing up a storm?", and thats a good one. My theory is that I am in another absorbing phase. See me writing now? This means I am full of stuff and have to expell it in the form of new ideas and provocative theories, and then go silent again while I soak up some more. Then again, I havent really said anything particularly provocative this time have I? Maybe I should go back and read some more.
And what am I reading these days? Well, that may be part of the reason why I havent been blogging much lately. I am currently almost halfway through the Bible. The Christianesque influences in some of my earlier posts were not always very well recieved, and I had something of a bitter argument with one close friend about the likelihood of my conversion to Jesusism, which is nil, if you all care to know. In fact, the more I read this thing the less able I feel to regard it as any more historical than Greek or Celtic mythology, which is to say a little bit, but heavily embellished. I am certain that all of those have their foundations in historical truth, but I have noticed a tendency to relate via metaphor and symbolism rather than strict reporting of straight facts which makes it seem a little unwise to take any of them as literally true.
I read the book of Job today and saw all humanity expressed through him, and the implications of the story made me laugh.
Hidden all through these stories are so many occult concepts I am beginning to really wonder about the roots of modern magick, especially wicca. We accuse the Christians of stealing our ideas, but it really kind of looks like we did it right back. To which I say, fair enough. I have found any number of direct references to ideas and practices that I had thought unique to pagan thought. Who else sees what a dumb statement that last one was? I can no longer even make distinctions between pagan and whatever else. The only realy difference I see are the number of different ways you think the divine can express itself.
I am disgruntled and pleased at the same time. Irritated that this wonderful counter-establishment religion seems to have been largely derived from the school of thought it is supposed to be alternative to, but pleased as fucking punch to have a whole fistful of direct Biblical references actually supporting my wild theories, and lots of other peoples also. I have been testing some of this out on some fanatics on that site I mentioned before, but the points I have tried to make have been quite lost in all the bickering.
It is of course a whole different interpretation of things, but one I find it difficult to believe no one ever saw before.
The biblical tarot deck is going to rule.
And my beloved priest sits back shaking his head at my shenanigans, unsure whether to be pleased that I am reading the bible or annoyed that on every page I am able to find references in support of magick and psychism, even as the damn thing condemns these by name.
I have to study the kabbala some more soon.
Thats the most writing I have done in weeks.
Discuss!

Jumping up on the Bandwagon

It is Election Day. I hate politics and couldnt be less interested in the government, and so this tends to be the day that I celebrate my democratic right to ignore both.
The shouts of "If you dont vote you cant complain about the goverment!" are deafening.
I have been hearing that since gradeschool. I did a skit about it for Girl Guides. And that seems to be what it all comes down to. We must vote so as to protect our cherished Canadian right to bitch about the government.
So I would first like to say that I am not particularly prone to complaining about the government, on account of my general policy of ignoring everything they do and hoping they will return the favor. However, even if I were, I would like to point out that I did not vote for traffic congestion or crappy weather, jealous boyfriends or my period, stupid people or natural disasters (though if a volcano were running Id vote for it, volcanoes are cool!).
I did not vote for brainless pop music or television that insults my intelligence. I did not vote for buses that come 3 minutes early so that you miss them even if you run. I did not vote for rude coffeeshop waitstaff.
However, these are but a few of the things that I feel perfectly entitled to mention in discussion, and if the fact that I dont like them amounts to a complaint, oh well. Does not voting mean I am not allowed to discuss the government, or that I must immediately end the discussion if it looks as if I may have something unpleasant to say? If the guy I did vote for wins but he turns out to suck, do I get to complain about that even though he was my choice?
It seems to me that the subject of the right to complain is a much more complex one that the voting nazis would have us believe, and so I think I will not allow them to bully me into not complaining about the government if I wanna. I will continue to excercise my right to completely ignore the entire process if I want.
That being said, Im voting Green, which is really less about who Im for than who Im against. Fucking Harper. there is an evil that must be stopped.

checking in

Were you guys starting to think I was dead?
Oh the holidays. They disrupt the hell out of real life dont they? But now real life is descending with a vengeance. The dim void which was the future begins to coalesce into the present, and all the managers are coming back from their vacations so I can get a freaking job already. Man, 6 weeks. It has been fucking awesome really, but all good things muct come to an end.
You'd think I would have written more.
Actually I did. As I said, and some of you have come and read some, I have devoted a large amount of my energy to the reachouttrust forum, mainly because those people give me a whole lot of backtalk and it kind of keeps the ball rolling for me.
But I mustnt forget the people who really matter, if any of you guys still read this after all my shameful neglect.
How about an old poem like back in the good old days when I was too lazy to write anything new? Yeah!
i love you
like a spider loves a fly
until the moment that you die
you are mine
and i love you as i said
the way a farmer loves his bread
though the golden grain is dead
crushed
and broken on the wheel
thats how i feel
and as your masochistic machinations will reveal
this was your goal
you know it at the bottom of your soul
though i eat you up in pieces i will spit you out whole

That is like a year and a half old at least. I have to do something with it and make it lyrics. I am doing some excellent jamming and songwriting with a hard rock guitarist. Hard rock! Isnt that cool? His jam room is covered with pictures of guitars, Jesus, and Kurt Cobain. He is decent and we click. He came up with guitar parts for like 4 of my songs and I am busy playing with his songs to make them my own. This is the sort of thing I should have been doing a long time ago. The music is the kind of thing I loved as a teenager. Its a lot of fun. We can critique each others techniques and no one gets offended. I say, "lets change this lyric" or he says "try singing it this way" and we just do that and it works.
I hope I hope I hope it doesnt peter out the way these things so often do.
Like I never see r anymore. Not really at all since the dead mans wheelchair, and that was not all it could have been to start with, but it seems to have exhausted our relationship and the extent of creative energy we can raise together.
Did I already post that poem somewhere in this blog? Dammit, I dont know. I'm so random right now arent I?
Byeee!