checking in

Were you guys starting to think I was dead?
Oh the holidays. They disrupt the hell out of real life dont they? But now real life is descending with a vengeance. The dim void which was the future begins to coalesce into the present, and all the managers are coming back from their vacations so I can get a freaking job already. Man, 6 weeks. It has been fucking awesome really, but all good things muct come to an end.
You'd think I would have written more.
Actually I did. As I said, and some of you have come and read some, I have devoted a large amount of my energy to the reachouttrust forum, mainly because those people give me a whole lot of backtalk and it kind of keeps the ball rolling for me.
But I mustnt forget the people who really matter, if any of you guys still read this after all my shameful neglect.
How about an old poem like back in the good old days when I was too lazy to write anything new? Yeah!
i love you
like a spider loves a fly
until the moment that you die
you are mine
and i love you as i said
the way a farmer loves his bread
though the golden grain is dead
crushed
and broken on the wheel
thats how i feel
and as your masochistic machinations will reveal
this was your goal
you know it at the bottom of your soul
though i eat you up in pieces i will spit you out whole

That is like a year and a half old at least. I have to do something with it and make it lyrics. I am doing some excellent jamming and songwriting with a hard rock guitarist. Hard rock! Isnt that cool? His jam room is covered with pictures of guitars, Jesus, and Kurt Cobain. He is decent and we click. He came up with guitar parts for like 4 of my songs and I am busy playing with his songs to make them my own. This is the sort of thing I should have been doing a long time ago. The music is the kind of thing I loved as a teenager. Its a lot of fun. We can critique each others techniques and no one gets offended. I say, "lets change this lyric" or he says "try singing it this way" and we just do that and it works.
I hope I hope I hope it doesnt peter out the way these things so often do.
Like I never see r anymore. Not really at all since the dead mans wheelchair, and that was not all it could have been to start with, but it seems to have exhausted our relationship and the extent of creative energy we can raise together.
Did I already post that poem somewhere in this blog? Dammit, I dont know. I'm so random right now arent I?
Byeee!