Tuesday, February 28, 2006

dead man rocking





Ladies and gentlemen, I am a lousy blogger.
It has been an entire WEEK since dead man's wheelchair and have I told my adoring public anything about it? No. Bad bad lazy me. I cant bring myself to write much at all these days it seems, but today I am unemployed and supposed to be looking for work, and since I would rather do almost anything else, I thought this would be a good time to write my report.
Can I get a hell yeah? Fucking wow did it ever go well.
Besides the amazing fact that nearly all my artists showed up, (and only one deserted before their performance, and did so only after saving my band's part of the show by going to pick up all the gear on a snowy, awful night) they each did an amazing job. They didnt all do what they were expected to, but I am the last person who is going to get on people for being unexpected. It was great.
There was burlesque and bellydance and the awesomest dj, the incomparable Jynx .


I crumpled each of my poems into a ball and threw them at the audience (which was a very nice size) when I was done reading them. Only one other poet read but he was amazing, this old irish guy with a beautiful voice, named Ed.

I got all painted up
and sang some songs with winston. Video of one song is available, though you cant see much. People let me know if you want to arrange to see it.

That and Rhean's delightful ongoing performance art piece





look close

yes those are red sequins


yes they are being sewn to her skin

TADA!
were the highlights. After the show I was approached by a band manager who has already booked us for another show. Details to come.
It was SO awesome you guys!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

i live on idiot street

Holy fuck somebody PLEASE get me an editor to follow me around and make sure I dont embarrass myself further. I was alarmed to be told, though of course no one noticed till after, that my posters said the soda was on 12 STREET, instead of 12 ave, where it actually is.
I could just scream, and scream, and scream.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Tonight I lose my rock'n'roll virginity

Thats right, for the first time ever, my band live on stage. We are winston.
I'm scared.

"i" is for idiot

I went through a 2 month period of unemployment this winter during which I was bewildered and unnerved by the total lack of response to the resumes i sent via internet. I finally got the really sedentary position I have right now in my neighborhood.
While extremely gratified to be again earning a paycheque, I have been looking at moving on from this place. I was reviewing my online resume yesterday when I was, and here I use a rare word, thunderstruck to realize that, thanks to a minor typo, my email address was wrong, iidnami when it should have been idnamii.
I made this resume in november and only noticed yesterday.
I already have an interview.
The moral of this story is: a third i is only useful if it is facing the right direction.
Damn I feel stupid.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

VERY SOON

Monday, February 13, 2006

Happy V-day everyone

This is a mutation of the first pic ever taken of my beloved priest and I, at the reception of the wedding where we met. It was cosmic.
It is titled "spark".
Isnt that icky-sick grody sweet? Eeeeeew love.

This goes out to all you lovers out there, especially mine.

I'm not explaining this one

The news broke over the heads of the unsuspecting town like a thunderclap from a clear blue sky
it flooded every house and spilled out of every mouth
and the story got bigger each time it was told
but nobody believed it
the alignment of the bodies made a gruesome geometric pattern
a glistening arcane glyph that tickled
the backs of the minds of the men who found them
like a secret hidden away in deep memory
a secret they wish had been kept
bound up in the tattered strips of their own torn clothing
a warning
or an invitation
a decorative feast for birds and worms
unappreciated centerpiece on a rough stone table
set for 12 unlucky mortals
still almost fresh
in the boiling sun
stiff limbs carefully arranged to spell a word
I couldnt read it
when we came back with help they were all gone
we searched the rocks for any trace, bone, scrap or stain
but there was nothing
and I couldnt explain it
to my wife
I tried she
turns her face away
and has long teary conversations in whispers
on the phone with her sister
living over in the next town
after the bottle is 2 thirds empty
and she thinks im as deaf as she tries to be
she looks hard at the door
when she thinks Im not looking
I keep the damn thing locked for a reason
just like a woman
she'd run for her life
but the dead hold her right where she is

Saturday, February 11, 2006

M's real thoughts on Whoredom


Ok, this is for a certain individual that asked for it to be spelled out for them. Though it is slightly beneath me to have to, it is important that what I am saying is clearly understood. So, for the first time ever, I will thoroughly dissect my own writing and explain what I was trying to say. Its long and kinda gross, feel free to skip it, if your name's not Anonymous.
First of all, as you may or may not know, Scarlet is a name I have been known by, and still am in some circles. This has come from more than one source and, at points I have been strongly identified with the Whore, by others and by myself. I have decided this is innapropriate.
Apon reading the passage in Revelation concerning her I had a little vision. I saw a very young girl who had been tarted up in a slutty red dress and jewels, thrown to a gang of rapists and then blamed for it. I saw her bruised up, bloodied, oozing the fluids that had been forced into her. Again and again, and she is told this is her glory. Her sexual attractiveness is her value and her power. She is a prisoner of the beast. The beast representing (in my mind at least) distempered lust for control. The second and third chakras seriously out of balance. His biblical meaning is states and kings, and so this kind of fits. He also represents, to me, the patriarchy.
At the time that Revelation was written, a woman who did not want to be owned by a husband had few options besides prostitution to support herself. Then, as now, "righteous", "upstanding" men availed themselves of her services, relieved themselves in her, and then turned around and reviled her for her immorality and sluttiness. She would grow hardened, learn to take what she could from the men who had all the power, would learn to wield the one power she had over them for her own benefit.
I have talked to many prostitutes, I have not yet met one who wouldnt rather be doing something else. I have never met a single one who said "yeah I love that triple penetration with nasty fat guys all wired up on coke, that's hot." I have never met a single young woman that says,"My dream? To suck 10 cocks a day! I love kneeling to men!"
There is liberated sexuality, and there is it's dark side.
So I see a girl who has been broken to the bridle. I see the utterly powerless state of biblical age womanhood, girls trained to believe they have no value except as accesories to men. I see men using her as a repository for their sinfulness, their shameful secrets, pumping her full of it, then destroying her and celebrating the vengeance of righteousness over sin. Its sick, and stupid, and fucked up, and it pisses me off that someone assumes this is how I think simply because I observed it and wrote the poem.
Revelation 17
1One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls came and said to me, "Come, I will show you the punishment of a great prostitute who sits on many waters. 2With her the kings of the earth commited adultery and the inhabitants of the earth were intoxicated with the wine of her adulteries."
3Then the angel carried me away in the Spirit into a desert. There I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet beast that was covered with blasphemous names and had seven heads and ten horns. 4The woman was dressed in purple and scarlet, and was glittering with gold, precious stones, and pearls. She held a golden cup in her hand, filled with abominable things and the filth of her adulteries. 5This title was written on her forehead:

MYSTERY
BABYLON THE GREAT
THE MOTHER OF PROSTITUTES
AND OF THE ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.

6I saw that the woman was drunk on the blood of the saints, the blood of those who bore testimony to Jesus.
When I saw her I was greatly astonished. 7Then the angel said to me: "Why are you astonished? I will explain to you the mystery of the woman and the beast she rides, which has seven heads and ten horns. The beast, which you saw, once was, now is not, and will come up out of the Abyss and go to his destructionThe inhabitants of the earth whose names have not been written in the book of life from the creation of the world will be astonished when they see the beast, because he once was, now is not, and yet will come.
9"This calls for a mind with wisdom. The seven heads are seven hills on which the woman sits. 10They are also seven kings. Five have fallen, one is, the other has not yet come;but when he does come he must remain a little while. 11The beast who once was, and now is not, is an eigth king. He belongs to the seven and is going to his destruction.
12"The ten horns you saw are ten kings who have not yet recieved a kingdom, but who for one hour will recieve authority as kings along with the beast. 13They have one purpose and will give their power and authority to the beast. 14They will make war on the Lamb, but the Lamb will overcome them because he is Lord of lords and King of kings; and with him will be his called, chosen and faithful followers."
15Then the angel said to me, "The waters you saw, where the prostitute sits, are peoples, multitudes, nations and languages. 16The beast and the ten horns will hate the prostitute. They will bring her to ruin and leave her naked; they will eat her flesh and burn her with fire.
17For God has put it into their hearts to accomplish his purpose by agreeing to give the beast their power to rule, until God's words are fulfilled. 18The woman you saw is the great city that rules over the kings of the earth."

And then we have Aliester Crowleys delightful take on her in Liber al vel Legis
43. Let the Scarlet Woman beware! If pity and compassion and tenderness visit her heart; if she leave my work to toy with old sweetnesses; then shall my vengeance be known. I will slay me her child: I will alienate her heart: I will cast her out from men: as a shrinking and despised harlot shall she crawl through dusk wet streets, and die cold and an-hungered.
44. But let her raise herself in pride! Let her follow me in my way! Let her work the work of wickedness! Let her kill her heart! Let her be loud and adulterous! Let her be covered with jewels, and rich garments, and let her be shameless before all men!
45. Then will I lift her to pinnacles of power: then will I breed from her a child mightier than all the kings of the earth. I will fill her with joy
Again, it seems she is left with little choice, and she must "kill her heart", her compassion, her warmth, her real self and desires, in order to stave off the vengeance of the beast. She must do exactly as she is commanded or the fate described in Revelation awaits her.
Now I have taken the imagery of the whore more literally than was initially intended, but this poem was an emotional reaction to something, not a planned statement. Even as a great city, the question still remains, who built the city? Who traded with it, fed it money and power, made a monster of it? Who filled it with wealth and therefore with greed, betrayal, addiction, competition, and remorseless predators? Who plastered it with billboards and graffitti? Who filled it full of pollution and pestillence? Who lives in it, uses it, and despises it?
Once she was a starry eyed young town with big dreams. She couldnt stop being what she is now if she wanted to, which she does at times I am sure. And when she is enough of a mess that we cant clean it up anymore, the world will smash her down and burn her to ashes and celebrate victory over evil.

Babylon is writhing like a dancer
(imagine her in pain and struggling, sexy in a half dead terrified powerless slave kind of way)
Babylon is stretched out like a victim for the slaughter
(because thats what she is)
Girlchild in a tight red dress
Swollen scarlet promises
(breasts, adult shape not yet fully formed)
obscenities and blasphemies tatooed like bruises on her flesh
(In the book it was the beasts flesh, but in my vision it was on hers. Artistic license, I can if I want.)
it drips with bloodred gems
and milky pearls
( semen and blood beaded all over her)
pumped full
of the worlds abominations
(she is a disposal unit for their shame)
her cup runs over
(the cup is symbolic of the vagina, but in this case could represent any of her orifices)
she is fed
the blood of the righteous
(Rev.17:6)
the flesh of the wicked
(think cock)
filling her throat
untill she is choking
drunk on her own degradation
stripped naked
pregnant with sin
despised by her children
(she is the mother of harlots and abominations)
enslaved by her lover
(the beast)
he waits to devour her
when everyone else has their fill
A scapegoat in golden chains
she rides high
on the horny beast
between her thighs
the shadow of innocence haunting her eyes
(this was part of the vision I had, her eyes looked like those of a scared and exhausted child, the Beast reared up with her on its back, she is held high above the world, poised to be thrown down, recognizing her own impending destruction)
disregard
(this is the point at which the poem is no longer merely an observation, the reader is being advised. We are standing on the ground looking up, listening to someone who looks forward to seeing her tossed down. I imagine the voice belonging to a spurned would be suitor, like the witch hunts that began with a man trying to seduce a young girl, being refused and then accusing her of sorcery to seduce him. "Dont let that innocent look fool ya, shes bad trouble." It could even be one of my exes.)
the harlot will fall hard
and we will be there to celebrate
her agony, we who hate
sin and lust
(I thought these 2 lines were pretty clever, because they can be read "we who hate sin and lust" or "we who hate, sin, and lust)
for the power to force her beneath us
(could mean casting her down into the pit, trampling her, or...)
and burn her as we burn
it will be our turn
They have told themselves they are fighting a monster, but the monster is themselves, projected on (or into) another. What you hate in another is what you hate in yourself.
Holy crap, that was exhaustive.
Anon #1, I hope this does suffice, because I dont like how you talk to me, and if you keep it up after this, I will know it is because you are an asshole and cant help it. It is obvious you dont know the first thing about the Christian perspective, since most real Christians I know would try to help her instead of simply making use of her or condemning her,(though real Christians in my experience are rare indeed, like true witches) in which case I suppose you could say my perspective is kind of xianish, though true witches and true christians have more than one thing in common.
I am definitely what you might call sexually liberated. I have chosen my partners as I pleased and experimented a great deal. I have indeed been shameless before all men. This has resulted in my being compared with our dubious heroine on more than one occasion, but I say female sexual empowerment has nothing to do with being someone else's slut.
So while I, and no other, AM the Good Queen Scarlet, I want it known, Im no ones slut but my own.


Monday, February 06, 2006

You can tell I have been reading the bible a lot lately...

Babylon is writhing like a dancer
Babylon is stretched out like a victim for the slaughter
Girlchild in a tight red dress
Swollen scarlet promises
obscenities and blasphemies tatooed like bruises on her flesh
it drips with bloodred gems
and milky pearls
pumped full
of all the worlds abominations
her cup runs over
she is fed
the blood of the righteous
the flesh of the wicked
filling her throat
untill she is choking
drunk on her own degradation
stripped naked
pregnant with sin
despised by her children
enslaved by her lover
he waits to devour her
when everyone else has their fill
A scapegoat in golden chains
she rides high
on the horny beast
between her thighs
the shadow of innocence haunting her eyes
disregard
the harlot will fall hard
and we will be there to celebrate
her agony, we who hate
sin and lust
for the power to force her beneath us
and burn her as we burn
it will be our turn

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

again