My Life As A Sexy Diva

My eyes are burning from the fake lash glue and heavy, copious eyeliner, the inside of my bra and my bedsheets are covered in sticky gold glitter and i keep finding feathers.... everywhere.
We all suffer for our art, this is my suffering. After many hours of frustration designing that delightful wheelchair poster on the new computer they gave me at work that wont do anything (but is internet capable!) I skipped gaily off to the round up center for day 2 of the Taboo show. Day 1 was not quite a disaster, but was something of a mess.
13 models, mostly female. 4 segments. One stressed out lady from the Costume Shoppe trying to fit all her most elaborate outfits onto the show.
And me. Good thing too.
I brought with me a posse of talented performance artists who just happened somehow to be geared perfectly to the scenes she wanted to create. We did not rehearse anything, the friday show was the rehearsal. Tasha and I had discussed the actual details only a week before. She had harem outfits, greek gods, medieval costumes, and showgirls. My friend Charity is a bellydancer and burlesque performer, plus did the Kink show with me for over a year so she seemed kinda perfect. Rhean is crazy and will do anything and brought a fun and talented boy from art school to be our tallest showgirl. She didnt know what to do for the medieval part so I said "Want some guys to swordfight?" and she laughed and said, "Yeah that would be great." as if she thought I couldnt get her some top form swordsmen at a moments notice. I said "Let me make a phone call." and Travis, an old Poser and very experienced stage fighter, was delighted to bring along Riley and break his nose on stage (that part was an accident) with characteristic grace and flair.
We ran into much trouble with a bellydancing troupe who were performing at the show, who insisted that our harem girls could not dance. So on friday we just had them go out on stage and have a girl orgy, tastefully of course, this is not the Kink show after all.
Saturday we were told this was degrading to bellydancers (at the Taboo sex show!!!) and they wanted us to take the segment right out. We said no way and had them just go out and walk around waving scarves in an artful way, which was pretty if kind of lackluster. Charity was exceptionally patient about it all, she was in charge of coordinating that scene and could have made it amazing had she not been seriously held back by these limitations.
The best thing about the greek scene was the snake that was brought in for Medusa. This thing loved being at the show, it was the happiest friendliest snake I have ever seen. The music did not seem to bother it at all and it kept trying to slither on to the other girls, like it was saying hi to everyone. It seemed to find sparkles very attractive, it kept going for all the showgirls nipples backstage.
I, in a sequin banded top hat with big black and red plumes, 5 red feather boas hanging off my ass, and a red waist cincher which left the breasts exposed, (hence the nippleglitter) sang Fever acappella while being molested by showgirls as the big finale. It was rather effective. People cheered.
Again, this went much more smoothly the second day. Much.
Afterward I walked around and got my picture taken all over the place. Got told by the show that glitter glue was not adequate nipple coverage and could i please tape those up? More feather boas resolved the situation. People are such prudes.
I mean come on, this is the show which features such gems as an 18" long 5" diameter blown glass dildo, a machine that simulates pelvic thrust with both innie and outie attachments and variable speed control, and hardcore video porn on several different tv screens, and my glittery nipples are a problem?
Then I went to the dungeon and let them lock me in a cage and chain my wrists since i had been so bad. Chatted for about 20 minutes with the cage owner who gave me a shoulder massage the whole time and provoked much picturetaking.
I can wear 7 inch platform heels for up to 3 hours before I start wanting to die, that may be the most valuable thing I learned this weekend.
But maybe not, the Taboo show certainly has a new trick or two to teach even a jaded old showgirl like your favorite diva. I know that may be hard to believe, but well, no, no actually I think I am lying. Never mind. It just reminded me of some old tricks I already knew. Hee.
You all seemed bored of religion and metaphysics. Want to talk about sex instead? You pick.