i aint juliet, even if youre romeo, homeo

props to space lady for the title. its from a poem she was reading to me just now, and it seemed apt.
this is a newish poem. i began it months ago and finished it just now.
im trying not to be bitter, really.

-

How did I know
One day I’d see you lying facedown in the mud
An ancient monster growing fat and strong
Apon your poisoned blood
How much different would it be
If I had taken what you offered me
The flag you waved surrendering
Your heart and mind and everything
To me or almost anything
That wanted you
Its got you now
And I cannot come close
Though I’m addicted to your pain
And you’re addicted to my hurt
We flirt with hell each time we kiss
You stain me slightly
Never goes away
And I am covered all
With stains like this
Unsightly mottled serpent skin
Mapping out my every dumb mistake
Spelling out each lie that I believed
I leave you to your romance
With your demons and your heartbreak
Unforgiven
By yourself
Myself?
I cannot even grieve

-

that last line is kind of a lie. i still have the clarity of mind to truly appreciate the horrific irony of the whole situation and it upsets me more deeply than some might imagine. if you are reading this and have no idea what the hell i am talking about, be glad.