Die Nibelungen, or; Cheaters Never Prosper (for long)

God I am doing a lot of weird things with my time lately.
The other night I went to the university science theatre to see the silent film Die Nibelungen, directed by Fritz Lang. It is the story of the hero Seigfried and his adventures.
Having learned all he can about the blacksmithing trade, Seig is about to ride home to his father’s kingdom when he hears of a faraway castle called Worms ruled by a great king named Gunther, whose sister is a lovely and pious maiden called Kreimhild. After bullying an old man for directions he sets off to get the girl.
On the way he meets a dragon, or what we are expected to presume is a dragon. I am assured that this poor decrepit beast was a feat of astounding technical prowess for the times, but it could barely move. It was drinking from a pool beneath a waterfall, peacefully minding its own business when along comes Seigfried and attacks it! He hit it on the snout 3 times with his sword before it finally breathed fire in retaliation, and the poor old thing could barely heave it past the end of its own nose! Nonetheless, our mighty hero stabs out the eye, and then the heart, which pours hot blood in a copious gush.
A little bird tells him that if he bathes in the blood he will become invincible, so he exuberantly (everything this guy does is exuberant!) leaps down to catch the stream as it trickles off the embankment. The dead wyrm’s tail gives a final twitch, which sends a leaf of the linden tree fluttering down to stick to one spot on his back, which of course keeps the shield of blood incomplete.
He wins a Wonder Cap from an old dwarf who attacks him for reasons not entirely clear. The Wonder Cap bestows invisibility or polymorph ability according to the will of the user. The dwarf, now at Seig’s mercy, promises great riches if his life is spared. They go into a cave where there is a great stone basin full of treasure, held on the shoulders of a circle of dwarves, he finds some kind of magic sword, and winds up having to kill the old dwarf after all, who attacks him again, very clumsily this time. In his death throes he flips our hero the bird and curses him, before turning himself and the other dwarves to stone, or "returning" as he said.
He goes on to subjugate 12 kings and 12 kingdoms. In case no one was counting, that makes 13 kings including him. Interesting, no?
With this retinue, he comes at last to Worms and asks Gunther for the hand of Kriemhild. Gunther, or rather Gunther's right hand guy whose name I forget (we will call him Grimnir, since he was missing an eye) tells our hero that Gunther is seeking a bride as well, a mighty queen called Brunhild who has said she will marry only the man who can best her three times in feats of strength. Suitors who fail die, of course. I wish I had thought of that a few months ago when we had the tournament. Would have simplified things a lot.
After some indignant posturing at being asked to serve another person in any way, Seigfried agrees to help Gunther win the lady.
And this is where it starts to get really stupid. Pasty, passive Kreimhild emerges, bearing the cup of welcome to Seig. She keeps her eyes downcast, we assume in maiden modesty, though it could be dread or dislike. She had an awful dream about a dove (doves again!) attacked by two ravens, which she describes immediately before Seig’s arrival. Since this is a German story, I am wondering if the ravens represent Odin’s ravens, Huggin and Munnin; Thought and Memory. Considering her eventual fate, it seems apt.
He eyes her over the rim of the cup, and she raises her own gaze to meet his. She stands (dazed, transfixed, resigned?) until her mother leads her away.
And off they go.
The men arrive at Iceland, Brunhild’s domain. Her castle is surrounded by flames, which die for Seigfried, signifying the god’s approval of him. Brunhild is all ready for battle, which Gunther wins ONLY because Seigfried dons his wonder cap and invisibly helps him.
Brunhild is not impressed. She seems to intuit that something is very wrong with all this. As the ship docks back in Gunther’s kingdom, she wrestles him to the ground and says, "I may be your prisoner, but I will never be your wife!"
And so everyone gets married.
The two couples kneel opposite each other to receive the blessing of the priest in the church, who only seems to ask that the men agree. Fucking typical.
Then the two men go and get blood bonded in a ceremony performed by Grimnir in the woods beneath a tree. The men stand facing each other, right hands clasped, eye to eye, while they sip the combined blood from a bowl.
The comparison between the postures of the two scenes is very interesting.
Brunhild is determined that, while some priest may wave a cross at her and bind her hand to this man she hates, in the most important way she will not be his wife. She broods in the bedroom while King Gunther the Gutless wrings his hands in the throne room, and finally gets Seig to go do the job for him. Actually in all fairness, it is Grimnir who baits him to go and "break her iron will."
So he slips on the Wonder Cap again, and this time disguised as Gunther himself (wonder why they didn’t think of that before?) goes in and beats her up. During this battle he takes from her a golden armlet shaped like a serpent (wyrm? Hmmmm….) and hides it in his cloak. Now, of course, I assumed that stealing the armlet was a metaphor for taking the hymen, as well as her dignity and autonomy. We shall see. She seems thoroughly defeated when the real Gunther comes back. She lies draped across the bed while he tries to, I don’t know, comfort her, get her attention, something, and Seig goes on to claim his own bride.
You’d think they would let it end here, but oh no. A year passes, the Nibelungen treasure arrives, and Kreimhild finds the hidden armlet. She asks Seigfried and he tells her how he got it. She promises not to tell anyone, but that very day Brunhild snubs her, and in a fit of the first real passion this girl has displayed, she blabs the story so that Brunhild will know that Seigfried bested and rejected her. Brunhild freaks and tries to kill herself. I don’t think because of the rejection but because of her humiliation at having been won through trickery and forced to live a life of enslavement to a man too cowardly to even attempt the deed himself. She is prevented by the guards from leaping off the drawbridge.
She tells Gunther that Seigfried took her maidenhood, which seems to come as a great big shock to him, though really I don’t know what else was meant by "break her iron will". She says she will fast until she is avenged.
Gunther calls for a hunt in the forest and he and Grimnir plot to murder Seigfried. Kreimhild begs Grimnir to protect Seig from a chance blade that may fall in his vulnerable spot. Grimnir says he needs to know exactly where it is, so she sews a little x on the shoulder of his tunic.
In the woods, Grimnir challenges Seig to race to the brook for the first drink of water. Seig tries to get Gunther to take his hand and be friends again. Gunther sits on a log, writhing in miserable guilt and finally says he will when Seig is back from the stream. The two men take off running, but Grimnir immediately returns and grabs his spear. He slams it through the x on our hero’s tunic while he is drinking from the stream, which is a lovely bit of full circle poetic justice if you ask me. I really felt sorry for that dragon.
Anyway, the final scenes are when the movie becomes most visually beautiful. There are some very good shots throughout, but Mr. Lang really pulled out all the stops for the last 10 minutes or so. They return bearing the hero on a bier. Kreimhild is heartbroken of course, which is very artfully illustrated by a scene in her mind of an exuberant Seigfried flinging his arms out in characteristic style on a hillside by a blossoming tree. Then he disappears and the tree dies, and then gradually fades into a skull shape. The death of her love, the death of her springtime, innocence, youth, hope, and trust. She accuses Grimnir and appeals to Gunther for justice, but he, and all the men, take Grimnir’s side. Fucking typical. She swears revenge.
Then Gunther goes to tell Brunhild she is avenged. She laughs and says the whole rape thing was a lie, and he just betrayed his truest friend for nothing. Hmmm. I may be a bit cynical here, but I believed her the first time. If I were she and had been raped, I would still tell King Gutless that I had lied about it afterward, just to add to his well-deserved mental anguish. I dunno. I do know that the final scene is Kreimhild back on the church where the body of Seigfried lays before the altar, and Brunhild slumps at his foot with a dagger in her breast. Kreimhild kneels at his head, and that is the end. About fucking time too, 2 ½ hours later.
It was a terrific story in that it did not contain one single really likeable character, one person you could feel good about rooting for. Except the dragon. It was so cute, all slow and pathetic with little nubby teeth. Seigfried was a dick. And what the hell was going on with everyone’s hair I am sure I don’t know. I have never seen so much bad hair in one movie, ever.
It was a good time though, as time spent in certain company always is.
Anyone want to try to best me in a fair fight? I, like Brunhild, can only be won by one who can match me in strength. Oh wait, most of you have tried already. Well you’re all just lucky to be alive then, aren’t you?