why i am single at this time

i am like the worlds worst blogger. youd think id be the best. i lead a life that really should be written about. the trouble being, i am way too busy living it to write about it. right now i am procrastinating housework, so time to catch up.
my sister asked me yesterday "why have you wasted so much of your life on love? men are such fucks." leave it to miss s the younger to put her finger on the real question. why?
being a priestess of isis in her guise as hathor, who is also aphrodite, bestows a certain fatal irresistability. the dark powers of cybele are mine also. what all these ladies have in common is the dismemberment/mutilation of the males in their lives. aphrodite was born when the severed testicles of uranus were thrown into the sea and the blood and sperm mixed with seafoam. i think i mixed up the greek and roman versions there but whatever. osiris was murdered and hacked to pieces, which isis reassembled to try to resurrect him, but his penis was eaten by a fish and never found. cybele pursued attis in her desire until he went mad and castrated himself, bleeding to death on the mountainside.
never directly responsible for the rampant destruction around me, i am a dangerous companion nonetheless. i seek a god on whom to bestow my favors, but gods tend to get sacrificed in the old stories, whereas the goddess is eternal...
perhaps this is why i dont often write in this thing. sorry guys.
i have discovered that computers can do way cool things, or rather, that i can do way cool things with them. not in fact the the succubus-like monsters i once believed them to be. i want to give mine a hug right now and never leave it's side and love it forever......... seriously though, i have discovered a huge world of artistic possibility and i feel kind of overwhelmed by it all. my dreams are in vivid color since i began to realise these things.
here is a haiku about the last time i saw my lost friend.

in the drivers seat
harlot giggles in triumph
red lights in the dark

what frightened and upset me me most about that girl was my kinship to her. he was on her leash but i felt an obscure relief that he had someone to take care of him. i felt a strange kind of sisterhood there. what i know of the situation makes me sick, but what i sense about it is vaguely comforting. is that so? i think perhaps he needed to be on a leash, but i could not do it. it sounds strange to say that after the beginning of this post, but it is so. too bad shes a crackwhore, and has destroyed everything good about his life, or i could be happy for him that he had found someone, even though she was a cunt to me.
i think i am getting to dig this blog thing now. though perhaps i shouldnt write in the morning when my censors havent started up yet. have a beautiful day everyone!!! dont think about severed genitalia!